Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

I’m calmer than I used to be, and most of my attention is focused on our kids. I’m tired of the constant arguing, but I know he enjoys it. Please help me find a common ground with my husband. DEAR NO FIGHT: Some couples enjoy contention as a form of foreplay.

I’m calmer than I used to be, and most of my attention is focused on our kids. I’m tired of the constant arguing, but I know he enjoys it. Please help me find a common ground with my husband. -- NO FIGHT LEFT IN ME DEAR NO FIGHT: Some couples enjoy contention as a form of foreplay.

"Every time I state a simple opinion, he tries to engage in a debate, but he goes from zero to 100 in a minute and forgets to listen to my opinion."

My husband and I met on the debate team in high school. We would get into heated debates about every topic, and I think it was one of the things he loved most about me. Fast-forward 14 years and a couple of children later,